The Truth About Infatuation

If you feel addicted to a person, what you’re actually addicted to is the idea that someone outside of you can complete you. That feeling only arises when you’ve bought into the belief that you are somehow incomplete.

The person you’re drawn to acts like a mirror — a symbol for the pieces of yourself you’ve rejected, abandoned, or hidden away. When you see them, you’re really seeing fragments of your own being projected outward. Those reflections feel like “missing pieces,” so your mind turns them into a story of destiny: This is my person. My other half. My soulmate.

But this isn’t love. This is a loop. A fractal pattern playing itself out in your awareness.

Reality always functions through fractal architecture: patterns repeating themselves at different scales. The limerence loop is no different. It’s a self-similar recursion of the deeper belief “I am not whole.” Every thought, every urge to text them, every fantasy about being with them is just the same pattern echoing over and over, branching like veins through your attention.

Recognizing this doesn’t mean love is fake. It means the noisy, compulsive strategies of infatuation are distortions — loops that cloud the clarity of love itself. True love is not the chase for completion. It’s what shines naturally when the distortion is removed.

When you no longer see yourself as broken, the fractal collapses. The person is freed from being your missing piece, and you’re freed from the cycle of addiction. What remains is an open field — space where real, undistorted connection can arise.